Thirty Minutes or Less // Review

This comedy thriller stars Jesse Eisenberg, Danny McBride and is directed by Rueben Fleischer (Zombieland). With credentials like that, this film looks promising from the start, but within 30 minutes (or, indeed, less) you start to wonder whether it’s not heading to the wrong address, or indeed which demographic even ordered this crime-comedy combo.

The plot revolves around two stupid wannabe criminals (McBride and Swardson) who come up with a plan to kill off the lead crim-becil’s father (Fred Ward) so they can get their hands on his millionaire lottery winnings. Rather than do the deed themselves, they plan to kidnap a random pizza delivery boy (Eisenberg) and strap him with explosives. To get him to do the killing, right? Wrong – it’s even more stupid. They want him to rob $100k from a bank so that they can pay a hit man to do the killing. After all, a place for everyone and everyone in their place, and Eisenberg’s place is to run around with his only friend, whilst strapped to an explosive vest. After their bromance breaks and makes up, they decide the only option (really?) is to go ahead with the robbery. They base the whole plan on Point Break and go ahead with it – that’s when things get even more complicated.

If this film was a pizza, it’s like it was made on two-for-one night and half of it was only ordered simply because you may as well – you don’t need half of it, and when you finish it you just end up with slight pangs of regret. The problem is not the ridiculous plot or its slightly uncomfortable similarity to the case of Brian Wells in 2003, who was involved in a robbery exactly like this - apart from when his bomb collar exploded and killed him. The problem is that it is not clever enough to deal with such dark matter and the plot is too stupid and full of holes. Why not kill the father yourself – you’ve just built a sophisticated bomb vest? Come to think of it, where the hell do you get C4 in a post 9/11 world? If you are going to make a comedy about bomb vests, have the conviction of Chris Morris to make it as deliciously, satirically, blackly funny as Four Lions!

This film feels like the vest was real – but strapped to Fleischer who was ordered to come up with a twist to the buddy movie genre in the titular 30 minutes, and this was the best he could do under such pressure. The characters are buddied up – but there is no conflict of personality within the pairings. It’s two losers Vs two violent morons. Both of which pairings start to grate on you like mozzarella on the pepperoni of your nerves.

Thankfully, it does have a few saving grace moments as it (finally) gets going. The robbery and subsequent getaway is pacy, well directed and pretty funny, especially when Eisenberg’s teacher-sidekick (played by Aziz Ansari) really gets into the bank robber role. Also funny is the final stand-off between the two groups, but it felt that too much ground has been badly covered by then for it to be redeemed. The whole thing feels like it just wasn’t quite what you ordered, and will have nowhere near the longevity of Zombieland. Personally the only way I’d watch it again is if you strapped a bomb to my chest!

Smiley