13/07/15
Do you remember 1986’s Short Circuit? You know, the charming family film where an experimental robot becomes self-aware with hilarious and moving consequences. Yeah? Good. Do you remember the bit where then-popular rappers Salt n Pepa show up playing themselves as bewilderingly stupid gangsters? No, me neither. And what about 1987’s Robocop? You know, the gory satire where a badly injured Detroit cop is transformed into a law-protecting cyborg with dramatic and violent consequences. Yeah? Good. Do you remember the bit when then-popular rappers DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince show up playing themselves as bewilderingly stupid gangsters? No, me neither. That’s because those thing never happened in those films. And those things never happened in those films because those things would have been mental.
So, do you remember 2015’s Chappie? You know, South African director Neil Blomkamp’s face-slappingly misconceived near-future Sci-Fi in which a Johannesburg robot cop becomes self-aware with utterly unconvincing and piss-poor consequences. Yeah? Good. Do you remember the bit where South African rappers Die Antwoord show up playing themselves as bewilderingly stupid gangsters? Yeah, me too. Mental. It’s like they broke onto the set and said “facking hill, Neil, this movie is rhabbish. Wha dhan’t you lit ass play with the fanny rhabut? It’ll be cull.” It wasn’t cool, it was stupid.
Unfortunately, Die Antwoord are not the only problem with ‘Chappie’. Its vintage ideas have all been explored before with greater insight, its one-dimensional characters talk like drugged children, and its whole plot seems to be predicated on the assumption that everyone involved in the proceedings is a fucking idiot.
The overall effect is a mess of a film that doesn’t know what it wants to be and, much like its subject, clunks from one unlikely situation to the next like some kind of dipshit.