Films > Film Reviews
Mission Impossible Rogue Nation
28/07/15
Tom Cruise confuses me. Not sex-wise, I mean, he is clearly still a very good looking man despite just hitting 53 (happy birthday, T.C), but I’ll leave that kind of sex-istential crisis to Orange is the New Black fans. No, I mean as a Hollywood entity, Tom Cruise confuses me.
On the one hand (if the tabloids and glossy covered shit-flinging rags are to be believed), he’s a sofa-leaping, alien worshipping, silent-birth loving, lawsuit filing, mad-as-a-box-of-frogs, walking media wet dream. On the other hand, we all know that you can’t believe everything you read in tomorrow’s chip-wrapping, and you can say what you like about Scientology (actually, you can’t. They have people specifically employed to ruin anyone who does, so seriously – don’t), but at least he’s not the one banging on about it, unlike other God bothering, aged action heroes.
Also, all that aside, Cruise is good. Really, really, good in fact. Especially lately in action films such as Edge of Tomorrow and Oblivion, and isn’t that all that really matters? That’s why I’m very much looking forward to his latest outing as international spy and bad-guy fucker-upper, Ethan Hunt in the fifth and latest Mission Impossible movie – Rogue Nation.
The story follows on from Ghost Protocol with Cruise and his gang of safe crackers, computer hackers and henchmen smackers tracking down and attempting to eradicate the evil Syndicate – an organisation so fed up with the Impossible Mission Force, that their goal is to rid the world of Cruise’s Bruisers once and for all – mwahahahaha!
Cue a whirling blur of the many talents of Cruise; Cruise on a motorcycle (Cruise control); Cruise hanging off a plane (Cruise missile); Cruise charming women (Cruise operator); Cruise fighting people whilst wearing a tropical shirt (Caribbean Cruise); and Cruise smiling whilst drinking a beer (booze Cruise). All this whilst Ving Rhames looks at him sternly, Simon Pegg looks at him in slack-jawed amazement, Jeremy Renner looks at him jealously, and Rebecca Ferguson looks at him like she needs to sit down before she falls down through lack of bodily fluid.
It's fast, it's fun, and it's full of Cruise. Check it out.
7/10
Tom Cruise confuses me. Not sex-wise, I mean, he is clearly still a very good looking man despite just hitting 53 (happy birthday, T.C), but I’ll leave that kind of sex-istential crisis to Orange is the New Black fans. No, I mean as a Hollywood entity, Tom Cruise confuses me.
On the one hand (if the tabloids and glossy covered shit-flinging rags are to be believed), he’s a sofa-leaping, alien worshipping, silent-birth loving, lawsuit filing, mad-as-a-box-of-frogs, walking media wet dream. On the other hand, we all know that you can’t believe everything you read in tomorrow’s chip-wrapping, and you can say what you like about Scientology (actually, you can’t. They have people specifically employed to ruin anyone who does, so seriously – don’t), but at least he’s not the one banging on about it, unlike other God bothering, aged action heroes.
Also, all that aside, Cruise is good. Really, really, good in fact. Especially lately in action films such as Edge of Tomorrow and Oblivion, and isn’t that all that really matters? That’s why I’m very much looking forward to his latest outing as international spy and bad-guy fucker-upper, Ethan Hunt in the fifth and latest Mission Impossible movie – Rogue Nation.
The story follows on from Ghost Protocol with Cruise and his gang of safe crackers, computer hackers and henchmen smackers tracking down and attempting to eradicate the evil Syndicate – an organisation so fed up with the Impossible Mission Force, that their goal is to rid the world of Cruise’s Bruisers once and for all – mwahahahaha!
Cue a whirling blur of the many talents of Cruise; Cruise on a motorcycle (Cruise control); Cruise hanging off a plane (Cruise missile); Cruise charming women (Cruise operator); Cruise fighting people whilst wearing a tropical shirt (Caribbean Cruise); and Cruise smiling whilst drinking a beer (booze Cruise). All this whilst Ving Rhames looks at him sternly, Simon Pegg looks at him in slack-jawed amazement, Jeremy Renner looks at him jealously, and Rebecca Ferguson looks at him like she needs to sit down before she falls down through lack of bodily fluid.
It's fast, it's fun, and it's full of Cruise. Check it out.
7/10