29/01/16
Back in 2001, there was an original idea. The idea turned into a story - the story of a man. A man born to a family of miners. A man who burst from this underground existence into the flash of photographic light, like a well-groomed and fashionably coiffured mole. A man with 3% body fat. A man who, despite being born unable to turn left, went on to conquer the world of male modelling. A man who became VH1’s three time male model of the year. That man, of course, was philanthropist, model and eugoogoolizer, Derek Zoolander. We followed the feuds, the petrol fights, and the dance offs as he locked horns with rising star Hansel. We gasped at the looks – Le Tigre, Magnum, and the legendary Blue Steel. We cheered as he saved the life of the president of Malaysia. We saw it, and it was good.
Now, 15 years on, Derek and Hansel return. This time, they are in Europe (I mean, why not – it worked for Juice Bungalow, or whatever his name was) and we find the duo struggling to be relevant in today’s fast-trending society… and that accurately sums up the problem with this movie. Because sequels just aren’t as good, and that is down to one fundamental reason. The jokes just aren’t as funny the second time around.
Many a movie that started as a surprise hit (Dumb and Dumber, Hot Tub Time Machine, 21 Jump Street) has gathered hot press around its sequel, only to be met with a lukewarm reception and weak box office takings. Sure, they’ll be some guest cameos (Bieber, apparently), but by now the audience is craning its collective neck around the corner knowing that they’re coming.
Everyone knows the gag where all the funny faces are the same face, despite the names, everyone knows that all models are stupid, and by the time the comedy dust has settled on the catwalk, everyone will be as ‘over it’ as they were those stupid fucking cargo pants with tassels on. Or trucker hats. See it if you don’t like surprises. Or laughing.
3/10 – Fashion over style