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Norfolk festival guide for Dummies

13/02/14

Of course everyone remembers their first festival ever. Some might see it as their best memory so far, while others prefer not to think about it because it reminds them of their unhygienic, noisy and drunken adventures. Yes indeed, festivals aren’t for everyone. What is certain is that the musical experience, the atmosphere and the sense of freedom on arena grounds are not to be compared with anything else. This might be one of the reasons why Norfolk inhabitants seem to love music festivals during the summer. But where do they go to? And which one is the best?

For some unfortunate people springtime means having incontrollable sneezing attacks. Lucky for them, springtime also means the perfect medicine for them. What could cure your tearing eye better than a good load of kick-ass music? Ladies and gentlemen: it is line-up time.

You’d better start saving up those pennies, because this summer they could make the difference between seeing Busta Rhymes at Bestival or Blink 182 at Reading or Leeds. Yes, the festival line-ups for this summer are terrific, but the supply might just make it more difficult to choose which festival you’re going to. Especially if you’re short on money. No worries, you can still make the best of your summer, just by picking the right festival. This could result in not having that sweaty moshpit on the grass of Sonisphere, but instead, you might just see Bombay Bicycle Club’s tricks on the stage  of Latitude instead.

Hippies and hygiene

Being eco is cool nowadays. Where hippies had to go to Woodstock in order to swing their dreads above a recycled cup of beer, they can now do it anywhere. British festivals seem to be the new promotion channel for the parliament’s green party. Often, you’ll be able to get a free drink if you bring back a certain amount of empty cups, and traveling to the festival grounds by bike might just make you a local hero. Don’t be surprised if you see ‘eco-friendly’ on the websites of nearly every Norfolk-oriented festival. It’s just in. A new trendy thing amongst festival organisers that is actually beneficial for everyone.

People with dreadlocks surely won’t agree, but believe me, there’s nothing as good as washing your hair after a week on festival grounds. You don’t even want to know how many litres of sweat, beer, water and other fluids have passed over your scalp during that period. Showering might take a long time though. Often, the typical British queue in front of the showering stall will start at the front of the camping area. Please don’t waste your time there. Just go to Tesco’s and by some throwaway washcloths. Or, if you do are the eco-friendly-hippie, you can take a regular one as well and just pass by the sink every morning and evening. Oh, and about the hair? Don’t be picky. Some shampoo and one bottle of water will do the trick equally well.

By the way, it’s not on our list, but Download festival has been nominated for the prize of best toilets on festival grounds. If you want to take your dump high-class, you should go there. If you want to end up somewhere cheaper, check out Bestival, which is nominated in the category of ‘Best UK Festival’ in the same contest.

Musical tastiness

You don’t get selected in the category of ‘Best Festival’ without offering the very best line-up for your audience. Bestival hits high ground this year with cannon Busta Rhymes on the main stage. First UK festival gig ever, but then again, it’s rap. Not exactly the mainest mainstream you can think about, eh? No problem at all, because Bestival presents a line-up with a wide musical range. OutKast, Disclosure and Major Lazer will be joining our dearest Busta and battling him with their own musical sound. Oh wait, you’re a rocker? Well, then perhaps you shouldn’t go to Bestival. Check out the line-up of Reading festival instead (you might as well check out that of Leeds, since it’s literally the same). Arctic Monkeys and Blink 182 are the headliners so far, but if you look close enough, you’ll even see Architects on the bill. Perhaps they’ve run off from Sonisphere, who knows? Perhaps they couldn’t handle their metal colleagues, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Limp Bizkit or Slayer.

One piece of advice: don’t take your children to Sonisphere. They might run off once Tom Araya lets his screamos come out. Go to Camp Bestival instead, the little brother of Bestival. This child-friendly family festival will definitely get your kids dancing to the tones of James, Basement Jaxx and Johnny Marr. It’ll be a great warm-up for them for when they get older and dance to the sound of their own generation, like Chase and Status, Tinie Tempah and Katy B for example, who can be seen this summer at Sundown Festival. Don’t like those pop sounds? Latitude’s the place to be then. Bombay Bicycle Club and Two Door Cinema club will keep you up all night there, just in time to see the Sunrise, perhaps at Sunrise Festival, who knows? Right in time to catch the gigs of The Mouse Outfits ft Dr. Syntax and Jungle By night. If you want to stay close to home though, consider paying a visit to The Secret Garden party. You’ll be welcomed there by Bat and Ball, Where the Wild Things are and Temple of boom

All those gigs might make you hungry. Short on money after this festival tour across the UK? You shouldn’t have bought your food on festival grounds then. Just go to a local supermarket instead next time. You’ll end much richer after a crazy summer.

It’s all about the money

I don’t normally write articles this long, but for once, I seem unstoppable. Don’t take it too personally, but I’m doing it for you, my dear reader. I just want you to set off on your festival summer well prepared and without having to spend too much money. My last advice is coming up, so just stay with me for one more paragraph (or two/three. We’ll see how long this takes) .

If you’re into the TMF’ish, music-video-making bands, you’re going to have a hard time finding a festival below the price of hundred quid. We’re not going to list up prices here. Dear Google will do the trick if you want to know. Just ask yourself when you’re looking up to a price of nearly 200 pounds if it’s worth it. Is that one band that you’ve always wanted to see coming to the festival you’d love to go to? Please do go. Are all of your friends going to a metalish festival while you love Beyoncé? Really, don’t go with them. Do you like to sleep well, take a shower every morning and don’t like hard music? Get your bloody eyes opened and visit a cheap festival. It’s definitely worth it. Especially if you listen to the advice we’ve given you. Just have a great summer and keep your eyes open for more line-up news.