Jurassic World
In summary, this film looks like 10 tons of fun
This month, we go back in time… to 1993, when a movie was released that changed the way the film industry created special - Jurassic Park. Suddenly, anything was possible, including dinosaurs that didn’t move like Postman Pat. Skip forward 22 years, 2 sequels, numerous computer games, toys, and one of the best Alan Partridge-isms ever, and it’s time, ladies and gentlemen, to go back to the island.
We pick up the story 22 years after the first film, and John Hammond’s original dream has been realised in ‘Jurassic World’, an island resort that offers not just access to various species of dinosaur (yes, Lance, they have a T-Rex), but also luxury hotels, restaurants… and golf. Because once you’ve seen one previously extinct giant killer lizard you’ve seen them all, am I right? Think of it as a tropical Center Parcs, but with more menace and less tennis.
Unfortunately, the problems start when the damn meddling fools that always seem to be in charge of this shit, decide that the standard array of scaled man-eaters is not enough, so it’s back to the lab in an attempt to spice things up by creating an entirely new species. I know what you’re thinking, “I bet they’ve made something cute, cuddly and safe for kids, yeah?” well, the answer is no. No they have not. Before you can say “Oh-fuck-a-saurus”, it’s feeding time at the zoo, and everyone’s on the menu. Everyone including the parks very own Steve Irwin-esque Owen Grady (Chris Pratt). Suddenly it falls on him to stop everyone from ending up neck deep in a pile of dino-shit. Speaking of piles, the film also features Vincent D’Onofrio (Full Metal Jacket), Bryce Dallas Howard (The Help) and Judy Greer (Dawn of the Planet of the Apes), so it’s a tasty cast, if you’ll pardon the expression.
In summary, this film looks like 10 tons of fun. The effects will be amazing, the dialogue will be witty, and the 3 will be d. See it before it sees you, and whatever you do – don’t run.
