What Happened to Robbie
What Happened To Robbie? began in Norwich (named after the little known follow up to the Sandwich, which was, unfortunately, not as successful. Yet it still fights on to this day and even has its own collection of shopping centres – Castle Mall, House of Fraserfield and Angular Square) when Martin Taber placed an advert in a local sofa seeking musicians to work on his 73 hour hip hop opus based on the ancient Greek myths & legends. Sadly only one man answered. Jacob Solstice, aged 21 (born Jacob Solstice, aged 0) was out sofa hunting, a popular pastime amongst the unemployed and one which as yet isn’t restricted by the same laws governing more conventional blood sports. “Probably,” said our inside source, “because there’s no blood involved.” While this particular madsummer’s eve provided just 10p in proper copper and 5 in forged silver it did lead to the start of his involvement with Marking Table.
A further upholstery-aided advert, this time for a clarinet player led to their discovery of Jack Dedman (born Supremacy). Unfortunately he didn't play clarinet and had answered the ad having misread it as 'Clavinet.' Unfortunately he didn't play that either. He did, however, play the drums. Jack Dedman brought with him not just several years percussive experience with various bands including, but limited to; Ded Zeppelin, Ded ‘n’ Bury’d (Bury St. Edmunds' finest Raggatime group) and The Ded of Night; but also a rare knowledge of obscure radical thinkers including, and limited too, Robert Clemence Shankman (died Robert Clemence Shankman, BA, MA and SAD). His ideas were so radical and unorthodox that they have remained in complete obscurity for a century or more. His prime merry philosophy was Shankism.
The trinity of infinity that were Jack and the beanstalk and Martin took two fundamental pillars of this creed – the elevation of the mundane and everyday to equal status with religion, love and other traditionally lofty subjects and the bringing together of normally exclusive experiences, beliefs or objects to create an unusual but transcendent outcome – and applied them to their own bay sick musical knowledge. Shankcore was born! (Died 15th January 1802). What Happened to Robbie? named in reference to the mysterious disappearance of Robert Shankman (after a suspiciously fractious 7/15ths marathon) play a wild variety of styles, with songs covering such delicious topics as curtains, poverty, mail, mayonnaise, cleaning the bathroom, mental illness, shopping, Bulgarian fencers and Sudden Adult Death Syndrome. Any song could include portions of metal, jazz (badly played), reggae, surf, bossanova, ska, The Major Scale (badly played), rock (played badly) and - number withheld - a progressive influence.
Gigs are underway, recordings are under funded and new songs overrated. Watch this space or alternatively myspace for further transgressions. This Non-Biography was made possible by the generous support of the Portsmouth Officers Progress Establishment. (Founded 1912, 1912 and 1652).
* Footnote - any resemblance to any person's life, whether fictitious or factitious is purely coincidental. My left footnote - any animals harmed in the making of this biography is purely incidental *
