CLOWN SMASH EVERYTHING, I SAID GOODBYE & SUCKING GRUNTS

I don’t really get Halloween. Scratch that, it is the whole Americanised carnival of crass commercialism that turns me off. Things are different when Halloween is done properly and it is the Goth Christmas. And what better way to celebrate the pagan festival than to head to the Reindeer for what is billed as the Zombie Parliament Halloween Bash?
 
First up are SUCKING GRUNTS, a band that I have not seen previously and whose current line-up has been together for little more than a month. Theirs is a metallic punk that brings to mind Vice Squad and Iggy circa Instinct. Underneath that there are hints of the goth of Ghost Dance and Alien Sex Fiend – highly appropriate for tonight! Theirs’ isn’t the greatest of sets but is enjoyable and I hope to see them again when the line-up has had time to bed-in.
 
Next up, I SAID GOODBYE deliver a set of cracking melodic post-pop-punk. All big riffs and bigger choruses they come on like a contemporary take on Buzzcocks crossed with the Descendants. There is nothing particularly new or original here but ISG do it with style and the fun that they are having is infectious. Debut album Fair Weather is a decent slab of wax and the new songs suggest that the next LP will be even better. The only question mark must be over drummer Pete Wright’s choice of stage wear. What the bloody feck was that outfit?
 
Finally, we have the tremendous CLOWN SMASH EVERYTHING. Not only are they tonight’s headliners but they are also the promoters, provide the PA and bassist Peters is the de facto soundman! This is the Zombie Parliament. Frontman GT is a ghoulish Boris Johnson, presumably resurrected after dying in a ditch after his failure to deliver Brexit. I can’t work out whether Jay is trying for the zombie Theresa May look or has just modelled his look on Anne Widdecombe but, either way, he looks absolutely bloody terrifying. The aforementioned Peters is an undead Jacob Rees-Mogg but is, despite the facial prosthetics, not as horrifying as the real thing. Drummer Zak foregoes the living dead politician get-up, preferring a Scandi black metal look.
 
Musically, Clown Smash Everything are hard, fast, heavy and intense, combining the best elements of hardcore, metal and desert rock. There is something here that reminds me of Guns N’ Roses back when they were the most dangerous band in the world - not in the sound but in the swagger and swing with which they play. If you like the heavier end of the music spectrum, check out CSE. You will not be disappointed.
 
Now, what chance of the Gory Party putting up some candidates in the election? They can’t do any worse than Westminster’s current incumbents. GT for PM!