Last Night A DJ Saved My Life @ Theatre Royal

I have loved David Hasselhoff from his heady 80's days playing sexbomb Michael Knight through the Baywatch years right up to that time he was filmed a bit pissed lying on the floor trying to eat a cheeseburger and beyond, to stardom in the first Spongebob movie. He is hilarious. He is sexy. He holds the Guinness World Record for the highest reverse bungee jump. So many reasons for my admiration. But my biggest reason is that he never gives up. He greets life with a smile and welcoming arms and always gives 110%. It doesn't get bigger than Hasselhoff for me when it comes to megastars from the 80's.

So imagine my joy when I heard this global megastar (let us never forget his hugely successful singing career in Germany, and that time he was more or less solely responsible for the fall of the Berlin Wall) was going to be coming to our fine city. Imagine how even more overexcited I was when I learnt he was starring in a role as a 90's DJ in Ibiza. It literally doesn't get any better than that in my book.

A mixed audience almost fills the Theatre Royal. Seated next to me is a man in his 80's and his lovely wife who have a belter of a time. Behind me is a bevy of 30 year old beauties cresting a white wine wave and fully up for whatever might befall them in the next couple of hours. We're all pumped, my neighbour especially.

The plot is barely worth mentioning, such is its vacuity. Hasselhoff's daughter goes to visit him in Ibiza, falls in love with Shane Richie Jnr (who looks like a small male Coleen Nolan, unsurprisingly), fights with her dad about it, they make up, it's all good. Aside from this there is a subplot regarding the evils of Ecstasy and a baddie, dealer Ebeneezer (can you guess what his solo song was kids?) There's a slightly racist but still comical Manuel-style character, a couple of Sharons/Traceys who are very funny, and some rather good dancers, who change costumes frequently from shellsuits to dungarees to white capri pants and coloured t shirts. It's all good, clean ridiculous fun, and the whole thing is done in a beautiful tongue in cheek style. The set's pretty cool, with a big screen to represent the beach, airport and club scenes.

A particularly memorable scene is when David Hasselhoff takes an E. Never in my wildest dreams could I imagine what a treat that would be. Haunted by demons and what look like hookers from Amsterdam, he gets totally off his nut. It's so bloody good. 

Musically I'm in heaven, with a nonstop medley of late 80's and 90's hits, some used as background music for the dances, and some being sung by members of the cast. There is a guy pretending to play drums and another guy pretending to play guitar onstage all night. This is weird as 99% of the music clearly has no evidence of either instrument on it. Ride On Time? Dub Be Good To Me? Never Gonna Give You Up? Relight My Fire? The Trip (and it is a trip)? Pump Up The Volume? All are making me stomp my feet and want to get moving properly. This is difficult within the constraints of a theatre seat but my neighbour is patience with my incessant chair dancing, gawd bless him.

David is the absolute star of the show, no question about it. His acting is debatable, sure,  but his stage presence is huge. When, after the interval, he appears on stage in his Baywatch outfit, to the Baywatch theme surrounded by girls and boys in the Baywatch gear, people go MENTAL. When he slowly unzips his tracksuit top they go INSANE. As is traditional for Norwich, it takes an absolute age for the audience to warm up, but by the grand finale, the Dance Hoff (nice one), we're all on our feet and delighted by foam being pumped from the ceiling. GENIUS. Where's the after-party at?