Missy Malone & Friends' Burlesque Revue

A splendid night of debauched spooky fun

by lizzoutline 2 November 2015

What better way to spend Halloween than watching cabaret acts at the Playhouse? I can think of none, save ripping off rats heads with my rotten teeth by moonlight. But hey, I did that last year. Missy Malone's a burlesque artist of the highest repute and has toured the country with her revue. Tonight, the audience is dressed in everything from jeans and jumper to stockings and pasties. It's a great big warm sold out vibe here, in true Norwich style.

Our compere for the evening Des O'Connor (not that one) is perfect for the job, full on, cajoling, enthusiastic, filthy and edgy as hell. His glittery eye make up and a white whistle-and-flute match the glamorous feel to the evening, his songs throughout the evening nudging acceptability whilst making us laugh despite ourselves.

We're treated to a wide variety of acts, and not knowing what to expect next keeps me nicely on the edge of my seat. The saucy debonair Snookie Mono swallows razor blades and swords with a nonchalance that I certainly couldn't muster myself. Velma Von Bon Bon performs as a burlesque fool as Everyone's Favourite, Velma from Scooby Doo. Scarlett Daggers plays a sexy and elegant femme fatale in her burlesque performance, and then dons furry hooves, a cape and nothing else to play with fire, quite literally. It's truly a sight to behold. Daisy Black, from Norwich, is a master of the hoops, both airborne and earthborn, and her flexibility is second to none. Awe inspiring indeed. The lady herself, Missy Malone, gives us two glimpses of her burlesque expertise, firstly as a witch and secondly, on stilts, as the bride of Frankenstein, with flowing bandages and black tape crossed over her nipples, leering and terrifying the crowd whilst also turning them on. The final act of the night is a comedy turn by Velma Von Bon Von, totally in character as a Russian acrobat attempting to climb into a Von Teese-style cocktail glass; brilliantly slapstick. The final portion of the evening is the Best Dressed Member of the Audience competition, and boy are there some contenders for this prize. Tits are prettily presented from within a lady's corset, there's an extraordinarily thin and tall middle-aged chap called Steve wearing stockings and no trousers, and many other fine examples of carefully created costumes.

My pleasure this evening was only heightened by sitting in front of an elderly gentlemen in a white dinner jacket who joined in throughout, guffawed and "Oh I say'd!" his way throughout the acts. He was loving it. It made me grin. Overall, a splendid night of debauched spooky fun. Now, where are my nipple tassels and feather fan?