Interview with Alex Horne
"People were heckling with acronyms I'd never heard of. Back then I had no idea what ROFL meant. I've only just discovered that YSSSTSOT stands for You Simply Shouldn't Say That Sort Of Thing."
Comedian Alex Horne comes to Norwich Arts Centre on May 2nd, and our Lizz Page probed him for some answers ahead of the date...
Can you tell us a little about what we can expect when you visit Norwich Arts Centre soon with your show Seven Years in the Bathroom? What are your memories of visiting Norwich last time?I probably say this every year but this is my favourite ever show to perform. It's very very silly but it's also based on a very nerdy concept, so I get to maintain my position in the pigeon-hole labelled 'intelligent comedy' whilst doing ridiculous things on stage; everyone wins. And just to explain this stupid-and-geeky idea, in the show I try to recreate an entire human life proportionally in one hour by doing all the activities we do in the correct amount of time and in alphabetical order. Got it? Good. See you there. Oh, my main memories of coming to Norwich are the exceptionally friendly people - but that may be partly because my granny and aunt live there.
Who makes you laugh?My sons and my friend Tim Key. Both lead ridiculous foolhardy lives and rarely think of the consequences of their actions. That just may be the secret of comedy.
Can we ever expect a return of We Need Answers, the best quiz show ever, also starring Tim Key and Mark Watson?I think that would be an excellent full name for the show: We Need Answers - The Best Quiz Show Ever. And I'm going to say yes, you can expect a return. We've heard whispers. But we can't say any more than that for now (they might be Chinese Whispers after all) (and I've only just now realised how jingoistic the phrase "Chinese Whispers" is).
What are your plans for the future? World domination? Or just the continuation of your world record attempt to be the Oldest Man in the World?A bit of both really. I am edging pretty close to the title of World's Oldest Man now (new personal best of 33 back in September). In the meantime I'm having a shed built at the bottom of my garden so I can be more productive (i.e. get away from my two hilarious but quite noisy children). It's just a shed but it's going to have it's own verandah and I'm already calling it The Lodge. I may even nap in there on occasion.
What is the funniest food?I find it pretty funny that we eat chickens. And cows, to be honest. I think I find the idea of eating any meat quite funny. So my answer is: meat.
What was it like performing online in Second Life?Dreadful. People were heckling with acronyms I'd never heard of. Back then I had no idea what ROFL meant. I've only just discovered that YSSSTSOT stands for You Simply Shouldn't Say That Sort Of Thing. I much prefer an audience of people who actually exist - I'm weird like that.
I understand there is a bit of audience participation in your new show. What makes the perfect volunteer?Excellent question. I know I'd be useless as a volunteer. I never sit in the front row of a theatre. In fact quite often I don't sit in the theatre at all. I do something else like TV or five-aside-football. Particularly on Mondays. As for the perfect one, I've discovered it's the ordinary man who works best. They have to be quite low status so that when they do something good (they will) they become instant unlikely heroes. They should also be around 50 years old. So in summary I think the perfect volunteer is a humble 52 year old postman.
Where do you come up with your ideas for show themes?This doesn't sound ideal but I tend to be in the midst of a certain sort of hangover, usually wandering along a river. A tiny germ of an idea will settle on my brain. I'll think it further, stop to make notes, and 9 months later, out pops a show.
What on earth is your Radio 4 show about and when can we hear it again please?The Horne Section features me and five mighty musicians daringly mixing jokes and music. We think we're the first to do so. It's a thigh-slapping cocktail of fun; that's what it is. The last batch goes out tomorrow at 6.30 pm but it'll be on the iPlayer and on Radio 4 extra for many many days to come (maybe one day).
What is the funniest thing that ever happened to you?My granny (the Norwich one) once sent me a postcard from Russia where she'd been on holiday. It read, "Happy Birthday Alex, Much love Granny (the pen is from Russia)". Unfortunately she'd written the words 'pen' and 'is' very close together so it actually said: "Happy Birthday Alex, Much love Granny (the penis from Russia)" That was 12 years ago and it still makes me laugh…
Lizz Page
Alex Horne comes to Norwich Arts Centre on May 2nd. For tickets go to www.norwichartscentre.co.uk.
