Don’t let it into your home.
In short, The Danish Girl doesn’t have any balls.
Han is dead. Shut up.
Spectre verges on the stupid
A very fine film.
It fails on every level.
A bona fide masterpiece
The kids'll LAV IT!
Wilfully stupid instead of just stupid
There’s also a cock-nosed fella and a squirrel with tits. And all this happens underwater.
The overall effect is a mess of a film
“Exodus…” is impressive, but it didn’t move me.
It’s certainly not bad.
Gone Girl is a damn fine film
This, then, is a very graphic Equalizer.
Flawed but thoroughly enjoyable
It was cool and very action-y.
Some of the dialogue is laugh-out-loud, face-slapping twattery
If you liked the first several, you’ll like this one.
Here we go again. Yet ANOTHER superhero film.
Thanks Hollywood! You’ve solved racism. Again. Now do war and we can all go home.
It may have lost the awards-season race to more serious or spectacular runners, but American Hustle is my favourite film of the year so far.
Ground-breaking visuals, nail-biting drama and Clooney’s massive dreamy face.
If her beautifully balanced tragicomic performance doesn’t win the best actress Oscar at next month’s ceremony I’ll eat a big bag of dicks.
The cinematic equivalent of having your head wrapped in flashing Christmas-tree lights while someone tries to surprise you with an air-horn.
Sure, it looks good – great in fact – and the frequent action is uncompromising and well done, but it’s all a bit ham-fisted.
Eeloo? Warner Brothers? Ees Guillermo Del Torro ‘ere.
Zombies, eh? Can't live with 'em, can't live without ‘em wanting to eat your kids...
This is the part Vin Diesel was born to play, not because of his thespian skills, but because he’s almost named after van fuel.