When our ageing, bald hero does get neck-deep in the exact kind of shit that he’s increasingly too old for, don’t worry, McClane Jnr is there to drag him out...
"Does Tarantino go too far? Hell yeah, and that’s why it works!" - Smiley reviews Tarantino's latest
Peter was in, Guillermo was out, and before you could say, “are you Tolkien the piss?” it was shot, edited and split it into THREE films!
007, the suave secret agent with Britain in his heart, blood like ice and the collective libido of plentyoffish.com.
Nolan took the darkest side of the knight for his Batman trilogy and now we get Dredd - the lawman that puts the mental in judgemental.
Meet the beer swilling, pot smoking, stripper loving, foul mouthed, un-cuddly toy that is Ted.
I like Bale’s Batman. He’s dark, vicious and the kind of superhero that would punch his mum and sister...
"You won’t be disappointed, and if you are, simply look into the light here…" - Smiley reviews the latest MIB instalment...
"Will it be a Hulking smash hit or a Thor point for Marvel? See it to find out."
A group of three teenage friends develop superpowers, and what starts off as an amazing discovery soon starts to corrupt them
Muppet Treasure Island starred TIM CURRY for Fozzie’s sake, giving some of the best acting the world has ever seen to, essentially, someone’s right hand!
Liam Neeson heads up a group of oil rig workers whose plane crashes in Alaska.
Make it your new year’s resolution to get a bit of culture and start with this adaptation of a lesser known Shakespeare play...
Kate Beckinsale returns in PVC for the fourth instalment in the Vampire/Werewolf series.
It’s written and directed by UK artist Steve McQueen, so it should be “arty”. And by that I mean borderline porn!
"It looks like this film is in much safer hands than the coal mines (again, ask your dad)..."
Crazy stunts and explosions galore - definitely one for the action fans.
My initial distrust for US remakes gives way when faced with the idea of David Fincher directing, and with a soundtrack from Trent Reznor. If it doesn’t work, you can always just shut your eyes.
The plot thickens as Robert Downey Jr. returns as the world’s most famous fictional detective. I prefer Columbo personally, but the last one was pretty good.
Atmospheric horror remake, lots of snow and blood – sounds like last Christmas.
"It also includes the new post Ice Age trend for having incidental comic relief. Instead of a squirrel with an acorn, it’s a pair of existentially pondering krill named Will and Bill..."
"Glittery vampires, werewolves with six packs, yet somehow less than six nipples..."
"Fewer bats and more ex-pats than Fear and Loathing..."
"Another sicko, another centipede..."
"Gerard Butler finally shows that he can act..."
"The job falls to a peasant who appears to have been groomed by Zeus since birth like some Olympian rent boy..."
Rocky with robots. Surely there will be a montage, probably it will this time involve welding. Awesome!
The four (?) famous Frenchmen save France again, this time in 3d mostly facing the screen.
Interesting and very personal look at being a soldier in and after Afghanistan, straight from the Sundance film festival.
Written by Guillermo Del Toro, this film promises genuine chills as a young girl moves into an old house to find something already living within its walls.
"This time the date on the camera is 1988, so we also know that the camera they are using will only have enough battery for an hour’s recording..."